I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
