are you still at the devil's house?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
