If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
