I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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