Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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