In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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