No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
