"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
