this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
