I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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