ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
