Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm passing your future prison.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
