Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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