no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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