So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
