You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
