i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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