Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
