Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
