so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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