He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
