So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
