The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
