maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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