I wanna bring you to show and tell
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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