Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
