Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My ass is underappreciated
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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