My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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