My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
