I'm drive I can fine osifer
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
