Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
