i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
