hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
