google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
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