this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize