It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
