He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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