just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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