My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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