I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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