tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
