new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
How does it feel to date your dad?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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