if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
