Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
so that wasnt chicken after all
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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