your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
