wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
