this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
