Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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