good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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