I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
