in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
