So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
