I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
