This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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