Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
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Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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