if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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