Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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