You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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