porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
