Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
