4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
