he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
be right there i have to get my cape
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
